The Beginning and the End
by Boxed Moonlight
Summary: And as Pallis stares at the thing, he knows he will like it.  If this "brother" makes his father that angry, Pallis will love it with everything he's got and never let it go.
1. Smother

Pallis is only five when it happens.

He may be young, but he cannot ignore the feeling of dread as he walks down the dark halls with Sangara leading the way. The butler, with his apron stained red from dealing with the kingdom's criminals (they can't afford to hire a separate executioner - aside from this, Sangara also cooks for them), is in an especially bad mood.

When they reach the door, Pallis hears screaming from inside that makes him wish he were deaf, considering the screams are in his mother's voice. Sangara and him wait silently outside until the screams are replaced by crying. The door suddenly flings open, and the young prince shakes as his father appears.

"Do what you want with it. Just keep it away from me," he growls into the room, then stalks down the hallway. As Pallis watches him go, he can't help but think, that if this thing makes his father angry, then he should enjoy it.

They step in, and a doctor, one of the tribe of witch doctors that live up in the mountains, is laying a white sheet over a body on the bed with his dark-skinned apprentice at his side. Pallis wonders where his mother went and why she was screaming, but no one tells him. They all fuss over a pink thing wailing in the corner. A nurse notices him and pulls him over to see it.

"Look, Prince Pallis. It's your new baby brother," she says in soft tones like velvet cushions that suggested he fall on them. And as Pallis stares at the thing, this "brother", he knows that he will like it. If it makes his father that angry, he will love it with everything he's got and never let it go.


	2. Eclipse

Now he is ten and he wonders.

Pallis wonders about all sorts of things. Like the reason the sky is black, with only pinpoints of light and the moon to light their world. And the jagged outline on the horizon, buffered by thick forests uncharted, to which no one has gone or is allowed to go. Why no one shows any restraint in their emotions, and why the only one with happy thoughts is his younger brother who could be the reason he is still sane.

He is ten and he wonders. Adakias is five and he asks.

"Why don't we have a mother?" "Because she died a long time ago."

"Why doesn't Father talk to me?" "Because Mother is dead."

"Why did Mother die?" He always pauses, and he wonders if Adakias notices. "Because she wanted to see the sun."

"Is that such a bad thing?" His eyes are always wide when he thinks about the sun. Pallis can see them, can see him imagining what it is like. Adakias always explains to him silently that if Mother died to see the sun, then it must be a wonderful thing indeed, and he can always see that sparkle of hope in his younger brother's eye.

The hope that, upon finding the sun, he will find Mother, and Father will be happy.

But Pallis is soon told about where the sun is, beyond the jagged outline and uncharted forests, and how those who worship the sun want him and his people dead. How they are the reason the sky is black and there is no restraint. How, as the heir and future king of the Dark, he must be strong and resist all temptations that the Light may offer, however glorious and wonderful it may seem.

But how can he crush Adakias' dreams?

Every day, he finds Adakias in their small and shabby library, reading by moonlight the narrative of Holy the Sea and the Divided Terrene. He listens to his brother as he darts around the room, explaining how someday, he will go to the Light, and find Mother, and make the two halves whole again to make her happy.

"That way, she can stay with us and see the sun!" he exclaims, and Pallis simply just smiles and then leaves because if he says something, he will have to watch his brother, who he realizes has become his image of the sun, become what he is becoming.


	3. Right

He is fifteen and he hates.

He hates being stuck indoors with his books about law and history and how to be a king while he watches Adakias dance in the moonlight through the charred and barren orchards. He hates that his father takes every opportunity to criticize him in everything he says and does. But most of all, he hates that Father has finally started communicating with Adakias.

Pallis notices the first bruise in the winter.

They share a room, not because they have to, but because Pallis always worries about Adakias' head that is always floating up in the clouds, and Adakias thinks the world of his brother. Adakias dresses, not wearing the proper princely clothes that are tailored for his growing body, but the shabby, brown clothes he wears to romp about in the woods.

Before he pulls his shirt on, Pallis sees them. Four thick blue and purple marks on his arm, offset by a fifth on the opposite side. He asks, and he is shocked that his brother lies to him.

"I fell out of a tree yesterday." He says it so coolly, so smoothly that Pallis almost swears that he said it and not his little brother who is always so innocent and goofy and good.

He sees through this immediately, but does not question it. His brother doesn't want to talk to him about it, but then, a sharp pang goes through his heart, the thought that maybe his brother doesn't trust him enough to talk about it. At the same time, Pallis realizes that Adakias croons his romantic notions to the whole town, but never to his brother, and he wonders what he, as a brother, has done wrong.

Has he not for years shielded Adakias from their Father's wrath? Has he not for years protected his ridiculous (this is the first time he calls them ridiculous) dreams of reuniting the two halves of their world? Has he not, through the beatings and heartache and ridicule experienced on behalf of his brother, earned the right to be a part of his brother's life?

And so he hates, for the first time in his life, his brother.


End file.
